Since this is a new Blogger page for me, some of you may (or may not) know that for the past few years of my life, I have been pursuing ordination in the United Methodist Church.
Yes, THAT United Methodist Church. The same one that has been in the news for the past few weeks.
Frank Shcaefer Trial
I've struggled through a lot with this church, especially since last year at General Conference 2012. This is when reality began to settle in my brain: we preach grace and practice bigotry, all at the same time. Specifically, we are bigots toward a community that God has given me the grace to be a member of: the LGBTQ community.
Over time, and especially in the last few weeks, I have had a lot of difficult discernment to do in regards to my own ordination process. A couple of days ago, I made a decision that is hard for me:
I will no longer pursue ordination in the United Methodist tradition.
Here's why:
1. As a candidate, I am often advised to not be so outspoken about issues for fear of making someone upset and, thus, throwing my process out long before I ever face a board. Some have advised me to go ahead and be outspoken, but be prepared to deal with the consequences. But, really, why put myself through all of that?
2. I still want to be ordained, but I need to be a part of a more inclusive faith community. To be ordained here means to lie about a few things:
a) That I will uphold the Book of Discipline in its entirety (namely, that I would come into agreement with the phrase "Homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching"), and
b) That I am not bisexual.
I already live in a blood family that pretends my sexual orientation does not exist. Why should I have to put up with it from a church?
3. All of the above being said, I also would need to deal with a rigorous ordination process- which would call me to repeatedly lie about the things in number two.
There may come a day when I reconsider. So, for now, I will remain an extremely gifted and vocal member of the group known as United Methodist Laity. But, know that I am also looking at what being a pastor would look like for me in some other traditions, such as UCC or Episcopalian.
Thank you to all who continue to support me as I discern and pray. I would not be growing in my gifts and graces without you.
