Love is the Letter of the Law

So......

I decided to do my weekly post on a Thursday night instead of a Friday morning this week. I've got a midterm and other stuff to do with my Friday morning this week.

Anyway, I've been reflecting a lot on love in all forms this week. Admittedly, romantic love has been my main focus as Sekani and I have been working through some tension about how we relate to the people around us and how that effects how we relate to each other. I sense that we are just about through that- we had some time to talk and just be together without distraction this past Saturday which helped us to more clearly understand the heart of our tension, which made us alright again. That, of course, makes me a happy Krystle.

I will freely admit that a lot of the blame for the tension between us rests squarely on my shoulders. I take the blame because I allowed myself to live in a romantic dream world for too long. What I mean is this: it took me a while to realize that it takes more than just Sekani and Krystle being headstrong to make our relationship work. It takes takes family and friends being fully present in our lives- cheering us on when we are doing well, reminding us to take space when we are irritated with each other, reminding us of why we love each other, giving us new reasons to love as we learn more about each other......long term romance is not just about the two people in a relationship. Long term romance requires community.

So, how I live in the community I have been placed in has been on my mind more and more lately. How do I relate to my closest friends who are like family? How do I relate to my church family (who is also new to me)? How do I relate to Sekani's family and friends?

The answer is in the title of my blog post: love is the letter of the law.

And oh, that sounds easier than it really is.

As I observe the culture, I realize that I have learned love all wrong. I look at people who claim to love me (and who I claim to love) and I seem to always ask a question that I'm learning can be poisonous: What has this relationship done for me lately? When is the last time this person did something for me? When is the last time this person helped me when I needed them? While it is healthy to have balance and boundaries, I think it's time to start asking myself a different question: What have I done for this relationship lately? Have I been there for my friend when she needed me? When is the last time I prayed for this person? When is the last time I showed care just because I wanted to?

This sounds nice, but the point is this: love, at its core, is sacrificial in nature.

I don't know why we have lost this in "Christian" culture today. I don't understand why we feel that as Christians, we must be self-centered- the church must meet MY needs, fit MY beliefs, look, talk, act, and think like ME.....but here's some reality- this is not the heart of Christ's message. Christ came to seek and save that which was lost- not that which was set in their ways and not looking for their beliefs to be challenged in any way. In fact, if I remember correctly, Christ came and intentionally disrupted religious leaders who were comfortable leaving everything as it was.

So, in my personal dealings, I am learning to do the sacrificial thing more. I am learning to put Sekani first (I do hope to marry him one day, after all), but not just by giving him things. I'm learning to love him in the context of family and friends, who love both of us and want to see us succeed as a couple. And for me, who has always been the independent type, this is indeed a sacrifice and a time of learning.

I'm learning that in loving others, I do not have to lose my own identity. I do not sign away my rights to be Krystle. In loving others, I take on the task of giving of myself- which enriches me and the world around me.

In other words, I believe this is known as changing the world one person at a time.
God, let it always be so.