Sacred Longing

So....in this new phase of my life, I'm doing something new. I'm actually paying attention to how words are used. I've been in church so long (actually, almost all my life) that I have stopped really hearing what's being said. I think  I'm finally realizing that while there is a basic message that I have taken to heart, there is also a deeper message.

And with that, I reflect on something Pastor Sally reflected on at the beginning of her sermon this Sunday: sacred longing. She spoke about what sacred longing is and why it is good to be aware of it. I walked away from her message wondering something: what, exactly, is MY sacred longing?

For me, at this point, this is actually a critical question. Yes, there is a laundry list of things I want to do, but what am I really hungry for? When I thought on this through the week, I found it was almost too easy to simply say: "I want a life that displays my love for God through the way I love others". But, this was the only answer that came to mind.

So, Wednesday rolled around and I finally stopped fighting this answer. I've spent the last two days challenging what I thought was an easy answer. It didn't take long to find out that loving others is not always easy. Quite often, in order to love others, I have to put my own wants away for a while. For example, I've been wanting to spend time playing my Xbox in my spare time this week. Meanwhile, my darling has asked me for a new pair of slippers- the pair I made him in October fell apart because he wears them so much. So, instead of zoning out on the machine, I picked up my cross (I mean, my crochet needle...oops....) and made that man some warm slippers. (I may have made myself a matching pair, but we won't talk about that). I found myself at peace doing something for someone else- and this is not the first time.

While I crocheted, I reflected. I realized that I am at my happiest when I give myself to others- in making slippers, in decorating tables for a community  meal, in giving Christmas gifts, in giving a kidney, in placing children for adoption, in smiling at a stranger, in buying coffee for the guy behind me at Starbucks........in these things, I am deeply happy. When I serve others, I am feeding my sacred longing.

What's yours?